I went to the lakeside at 7am.
The children were still asleep, my aunt kept an eye on them as she usually would do, every morning, while I had a run and a meditation session by the lake.
But that particular morning three weeks ago I wouldn’t run – I had other plans.
I had spent two hours the night before putting down ideas about it.
The alarm rang at 6am. I put on a blue airy Indian shirt and out I went, silently, in the fresh morning wind.
The lake is always beautiful. I know this word, beautiful, is used everywhere – but believe me when I say it is truly deserved by that small, round, fresh, volcanic lake in the middle of the Italian peninsula.
I wan born not far from there.
This lake, to me, is the ancestral home. I have many places in the world where I feel deeply at home, safe and happy. But this lake is to me the primordial image of home.
I put a towel on the shore, just about out of reach of the gentle waves.
I stuck my iPhone (quite old and definitely not the last model) between the dark rocks in front of me. I gave my shoulders to the lake so that it was visible in the camera, behind me.
It was my first time recording a video of myself. I had never done anything like that before.
I felt a little (a lot) ridiculous.
I started with an apology (“this is the best I can do in terms of technology right now”), but then I felt gradually more at ease. I knew that I had to do this, in the best possible way. Not perfectly, but in the best possible way.
My message for a more spiritual parenthood is something I deeply believe in. I love my message immensely and I feel it could be beneficial to other people.
I know that motherhood can be a challenge sometimes. I want to share the tools that worked for me.
My vision is to contribute to the birth of a community of like minded parents.
And I felt that a particular course* would have helped me in achieving this. The cost of the course though was too high for me at the moment – so I decided to apply for a scholarship.
The video was a requirement for the scholarship application. I had to do it all over again three times. My English was rusty because I had been out of the English-speaking world for five weeks, so sometimes I couldn’t find the right word at the speed the video required. Once, while I recorded, the blissful silence of the lake at dawn was broken by a minicar for the transport of garbage and I couldn’t help but bursting with laugh.
I started again until I was quite happy with the result. It took me one hour to record four minutes of decent quality.
Meanwhile, here and there few passers-by looked at me inquisitively, as by their point of view the telephone was not visible, so it looked like I was talking to the rocks…
Every time, right before recording, a voice inside my head kept saying “Why me? Why should they give their scholarship to me instead of someone else?”. I didn’t ignore the voice. I listened to the voice. And eventually, I answered.
I know why me.
Because I want to serve others.
Because I decided not to stay back.
Because I want to own my message fully and start giving.
I will put all my efforts into promoting a more spiritual parenthood. I know this is something the whole world needs desperately. Happy, spiritual mothers have happy, spiritual children. And this is a recipe for a happy, spiritual tomorrow.
Today, a few weeks after and the last day of my Italian holiday, I received the answer – the scholarship is mine.
New adventure ahead! I am happy, grateful, inspired behind words.
* the course is Spirit Junkie Masterclass by Gabrielle Bernstein. I am awesomely grateful to Gabby and her team (particularly Allison Micco) for believing in me and giving me this fantastic opportunity. You are a light to the world guys. Your work is a spiritual bomb.