Friendship is deep connection.
I visualise friendship as a circle, an energetic circle of communication.
It is a source of joy, reassurance, help, a life tool as precious as a compass in a jungle. It can be a place for laughter and a walking stick to lean upon, when the road is rocky.
Looking around me, I feel protected and understood and “Bien Entourée” – lovely surrounded, as we say in French. I have friends, real friends.
I am one lucky girl.
It might seem like the message we unconsciously share with a friend is:
I agree with you
I love you
I admire you
I care about you
but in my opinion all these messages can be simplified into few simple and universal unspoken words:
This message needs to be reciprocated in order to be activated – in few words, you will unconsciously say “I am here” and the other person will answer “I am here”, and the circle of energy will be activated.
As in a circle the essence of friendship will start flowing and coming back to you, then back to your friend as in a continuous flow of positive recognition.
A lucky person will have one such circle friendship in her life. This is a great luck indeed.
An incredibly blessed and connected person will have two or more circle friendships, but this kind of relationship is rarer than gold.
The flow can be interrupted when one of the two ends stop answering back. The first “I am here” stays suspended, and if there is no answer for a certain length of time the circle might die. This is how we build loneliness, unhappiness and depression.
Sometimes the hectic rhythm of life means that you don’t have contact with a friend for months. It doesn’t matter. When one of the two reaches out, the other answers I Am Here. Still here for you, as always.
Sometimes you do silly, shallow things together. Sometimes you talk about life and death. It doesn’t matter.
We tend to think that we become friends with people that are likeminded. We tend to think that we need to share personality traits or life experiences in order to establish a long term friendship with someone. We tend to think that we can call someone a “real friend” only after years of knowing each other.
I have friends that are my opposite in many regards. I have friends that became my friend the very moment we spoke for the first time. I have friends that have been treated by life in a very different way from the way I have been.
Yet. The I Am Here I send them gets an I Am Here back in response. The I Am Here they send me gets my I Am Here back as an answer.
And I feel I have a wall, composed by all the I Am Here of my friends, to rest against if need arises.
And I know that I am able and willing to be that powerful, steady wall for someone.
And it feels great. It feels whole.
To my spirited, unique friends – thank you.
Photos by Robert Lukeman, Kevin, Toa Heftiba, Jens Johnson, Curtis Mac Newton on Unsplash